Liming Beliefs and Shadow Work
I’ve written about the nature of archetypal energies on other pages of this site. Here, I’ll briefly describe how our childhood experiences can disrupt the full, healthy development of our archetypal energy, and what this may mean for us in adult life.
When the normal development of any archetype is disrupted in childhood by the emotional wounds we all experience in childhood, we form a set of beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs will play out in the way we live our lives forever….. and they limit us in many ways.
They can make us feel sad, depressed, fearful, shy, guilty, lonely, unloved, anxious and more. They can stop us achieving anything like our full potential and stop us feeling any joy, pleasure or happiness,
The truth is, unless we engage with some kind of coaching or therapy to change them, limiting beliefs can run our lives.
But what are these limiting beliefs?
A veteran therapist talks about emotional wounds
In the table below you can see the main Archetypal wounds and the limiting beliefs which can develop from them. (You can read more about the archetypes on this site by clicking here.)
These limiting beliefs are the root of your challenges in the world today. Shadow coaching is one of the quickest and most powerful ways to change them so that you can achieve the success that is your birthright.
The Emotional Wound
The Kind Of Limiting Beliefs Which Hold You Back In Adulthood
This Archetype Is All About “Being”
|You come to believe “I am not good enough” in some or even all situations.
|· I have nothing of value to contribute.
· I cannot do this; I don’t know how.
· I don’t know what I want or even what I believe in.
· I don’t know which option to choose.
· Other people are better than me.
· Life is meaningless and pointless. Why bother? What’s the point?
· People need to be told what to do. People are generally stupid.
· The only way I can be accepted is to play dumb and hide my power.
· The only way I can prove how good I am is to “big it up”.
· You have to be born lucky to find happiness / success / money.
· I’m not clever / smart / wise / witty / sharp / quiet / loud enough.
· My brother / sister / father / mother is the successful one in this family.
· This is all your fault.
· If it hadn’t been for you, none of this would have happened.
This archetype is all about “Doing”
|You come to believe “I am not a powerful individual” or “I have no clear identity of my own” or “I have no power to change anything” or “I depend on you for my existence.”
|· I cannot change anything.
· I am weak.
· People walk all over me.
· Life is a struggle and then you die.
· I will never get what I want.
· People always overstep the mark.
· Everyone’s out to get you. Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile.
· The only way to succeed is with force.
· You always have to fight to get what you want in life.
· I must force others to believe in me.
· It’s just too hard.
· I don’t know where I stop and you begin.
· What do you mean by “boundaries”?
This archetype is all about Thinking”
|You come to believe “There is something wrong with me” or “I am bad in some way.”
|· I can’t work this out.· I have no idea what to do next.
· I don’t know how to find out.
· I’m not creative.
· You need to watch others like a hawk because they are always out to get you.
· It’s just too risky to try.
· I feel ashamed of myself.
· You always have to be on the lookout for danger.
· Life is dangerous.
· I am an accountant, not an artist. That’s all I can do.
· I feel numb.
This archetype is all about “Connecting”
|You come to believe “I cannot love others in the right way” or “I am unlovable”.
|· I will always be betrayed by people I love.
· Men always let you down.
· Men are only after one thing.
· Women can’t be trusted.
· There’s no point in loving someone, it will only end in tears.
· My heart will always be broken.
· I am not likeable.
· I can’t be vulnerable, it isn’t safe.
· I can’t show you who I am because you may not like me.
· Everyone rejects me.
Surprising though it may seem, many of the things you learned about yourself and the world around you during your childhood are still running your life as an adult. In fact the way you experience the world is a direct reflection of what you believe to be true about yourself, consciously or unconsciously. The unconscious beliefs are what you hold in shadow (the idea of shadow is explained here).
And many of these beliefs are still limiting you from expressing your power, potency and potential as an Adult.
The most challenging aspect of dealing with these limiting beliefs is that they’re deeply buried in the unconscious mind.
Indeed, you’re likely to be the last person who understands what limiting beliefs are doing to you: keeping you small and making you repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
At Some Point Your Soul Will Call To You
In my work, I’ve met many men and women who were having some kind of some emotional or spiritual crisis – often around mid-life.
This is often a time when a man or woman’s soul starts knocking on the door of their consciousness.
The discomfort of questions like “Who am I?” and “What should I be doing?” is a sign of their soul’s longing to uncover the truth about who they are and what they should be doing with their lives.
Unfortunately many people turn away from this opportunity, perhaps ironically driven by a limiting belief that “there’s no point even trying, because nothing will change” or “I can’t change anything because….”
In reality, everything you need to create the life you want is within you now. You may, however, need the help of a shadow work coach to uncover it. And that’s true no matter how different your current life may be to the ideal life you’d like to be living.
Just imagine what it would be like to know you have the power to release yourself from the cycle of the past. To create a life where happiness, joy, success, and achievement are abundant. A life in which you’re doing something you’re passionate about, something in line with your deepest values and your soul purpose.
Fortunately, with shadow work and shadow coaching, you can dismantle your limiting beliefs and replace them with something more helpful.
Video – Marianne Hill – How can I know what is in shadow for me?
Here’s a helpful video by shadow work expert and coach Marianne Hill, which will give you some clues about what you may be holding in your shadow unconscious.
You, Limiting Beliefs, And Your Unconscious
Make no mistake about it, the enemy of your success is the limiting beliefs implanted in your unconscious mind by teachers, parents, friends and family members. Sometimes these beliefs are the product of trauma, sometimes abuse, sometimes neglect. All too often, they are simply the product of normal, every day life in our society. (Alice Miller wrote about this in the book The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self.)
The unconscious is the part of your mind which stores all the beliefs you hold about the world, the way the world works, the people in the world, and your relationship to the world and the people in it. Also deeply embedded in your unconscious is your whole belief system about money and self-worth.
Think about the significance of that for a moment: standing between you and your success, prosperity, and achievement are your limiting beliefs. And you probably don’t even know you hold these limiting beliefs.
Yet, if you choose, you can identify them, remove them, and reprogram your mind for success. The boost to your progress will be like putting rocket fuel in your car engine.
However, while your power may be unknown to you as yet, I’m sure you’re only too well aware of your limitations.
Consider how you keep making the same mistakes over and over again. How you wish things could be different. How much you want to carry through with your plans, but how difficult – even impossible – it all feels. How challenging it is to make the changes which you know could lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.
Limiting beliefs may block your route to success in every area of life, including money and wealth. Limiting beliefs kill your independence and ambition, and they extinguish possibility and potential.
Limiting beliefs also reduce your self-confidence. They stop you achieving things which would otherwise be easy, fulfilling and natural. They can convince you that life is a struggle. And, above all, they can make you poor and keep you that way.
To illustrate how limiting beliefs can affect your life, I have chosen to write about limiting beliefs and money. The truth is, however, that limiting beliefs can cripple your ability to get what you want in any area of your life (especially relationships!) and can leave you bewildered as to why your life is not working.
Limiting Beliefs Will Keep You Poor
As you were growing up, did you get messages like these from your parents and others? What limiting beliefs did you create in response?
- “We can’t afford it.” (Limiting Belief: Our natural status is poverty. We can’t expect much from life.)
- “Look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.” (Hang on to the little you have and don’t expect any more to come your way. And don’t bother planning your financial future.)
- “Do you think I’m made of money?” (You can’t have what you want.)
- “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” (And we know which group we’re in, don’t we?)
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know.” (Money is in short supply.)
- “You can’t have everything you want.” (You will never get anything you want.)
- “Money is the root of all evil.” (It’s bad to be rich.)
You can add your own family’s views about money here…..
These ideas are so deeply rooted in your unconscious that you may not even know they exist within you. But to see immediately what kind of relationship you have with money, all you need do is look at the state of your bank account and the level of your debts.